Meditations of an Artist IV
Recovering a Sense of Integrity
In tandem with the wisdom and exercises lain forth in the weekly chapters of Artist's Way, we are also urged and guided through the process of writing what Cameron calls the "morning pages".
Honest Changes However, week four's morning pages' prompts have an air of seriousness, or discomfort, which we have yet to experience in the Artist's Way journey. We are asked to confront our feelings, both real and official. Our real feelings are defined by Cameron as often being secret while official feelings tend to be what is "on record for public display," otherwise defined as a sort of facade used to submit to a societal framework.
Think, for instance, of the very common small talk conversations we hold daily. The question "how are you doing?" is almost expected to be something along the lines "I'm doing okay," when in truth all of our lives are far too eventful and dynamic for this ever to be reality.
This week we are instructed to ignore this method of thinking and truly put effort into exploring the true and actual feelings we have. Rather than omitting from entries negative thoughts, feelings, or daily occurrences - dig deep into what those feelings mean and use it to learn more about yourself.
If you want to work on your art, work on your life. Chekhov
Throughout the process of working through Artist's Way, there is a continual emphasis on the morning pages. This is because of how extremely vital they are to strengthening one's sense of self identity and the confidence it will instill within you. The morning pages urge us to confront difficult, deeply rooted emotions which we often ignore while they weigh on our self-conscious.
Although we might not be aware of it, the thoughts and feelings we ignore directly impact our creative-self and the confidence we may (or may not) have in our selves and our work. Even if those feelings aren't directly related to creativity or our creative processes, any mental weight or struggles deeply impact the work that comes from within.
In addition to confronting difficult feelings, morning pages force us then to dive deeper into the "why" and "how" of those feelings - in addition to the "what do I make of these feelings?"
Reading Deprivation
"For most artists, words are like tiny tranquilizers"
This week invited us to the practice of reading deprivation, which asks us to remove the distraction of a novel or television series which we may be inadvertently using to keep us from practicing our creativity.
As Cameron put it:
We gobble the words of others rather than digest our own thoughts and feelings, rather than cook up something of our own.
Which, tea, call me out. In recent months I have finished more books than I have artworks. This exercise has been an interesting and enlightening one, for sure.
This is not to say completely give up enjoying watching a show or reading books. It's all about balance!